Maxafication-ize Your Life

I hope you enjoyed the first part of Impacting Your Self Esteem! I want to talk about how positive firmness raises our self-esteem. Raising the self-esteem of persons has been a goal of educators, positive mental attitude gurus, religions, and self-help professionals. It is believed that when the self-esteem of someone is raised they will become successful in whatever they endeavor to do.

Ways to Build Self Esteem
I have talked with a few people about the best ways to raise the self-esteem of others. Here are some of the ways:
• Education
• Stable (emotional and mental) home
• Athletics
• Special Activities (Speech, Chess, Scouts, Band, etc.)
• Supportive Community
• having close friends

All of the above can be positive in causing someone to have a good feeling about who they are. Many times we picture good things happening to a person, believing these things result in a high self-esteem. Truth is the additional variable of firmness, created by engaging uncertainty, threat of loss, fear and even pain can bring us to a high level of self-esteem.

Abuse or Firmness
we watch what seems to be borderline abusive behavior by a coach of a team with consistent winning seasons. Many times you find the team members do not believe that the behavior hurt them but caused them to see their true abilities and potential. This is what I call positive firmness.

A great example is found in the movie Miracle. This was the story about the 1980 championship of the men’s USA Olympic Hockey team. The gold medal was won against a stronger, larger and more experienced opponent. It was the emotional and mental toughness created by extreme physical rigor that built high levels of endurance. This in turn raised the self-esteem of each individual on the team.

Firmness is a component that must never be taken out of the equation in building self-esteem. While positives are the fuel of self-esteem, firmness builds the muscle and strength of self-esteem. Sometimes life gives opportunities for self-esteem to be built in very extreme events.

A Firm Chill
December 24, 1982 I lived in Denver, Colorado and experienced what was called the “Blizzard of 82”. The temperature dropped like a lead ball to levels of -35 degrees (wind chill). Wind speeds were up to 50 mph. Snowfall in the area was 25- 48 inches with snowdrifts from 4 to 10 foot high. The airport, downtown, transportation, and the entire city shut down. Many had to leave their cars along the street and traveled like the days before the horse and carriage. The storm was so fierce that I barely was able to get the taxicab back to 3455 Ringsby Court, at Yellow Cab. You may not know the place but if you are ever in Denver check it out and imagine being there in a foot of snow. When attempting to drive my personal car, it started but moved forward only 2 feet and stopped. The tires were spinning as if I was in a drag race. To get home I joined the ranks of the walking silent. There was no sounds on the street accept the occasional searching voice reaching out to a loved one, scream of a siren from an emergency vehicle, or the gunshot like sound of a transformer dying. 3 ½ hours later, having become a human Popsicle, I joined my family in the warmth of our home.

These types of events are what create and bring out the firmness that builds self-esteem. I watched people help each other with a resolute understanding that the reality of freezing was real. Under normal circumstances there would have not been any interaction at this level. There was a common understanding that you just don’t pass by someone in need, but you do whatever you can to help. Some helped to dig each other out from the ice prison their homes had become. People even had to stay at the home of strangers because their own homes were too far away for walking. Why do these times have such an effect? I believe it is because during crises all the comforts that are reflective of self-pleasure are suspended due to the knowledge that greater values are at risk. Facing this risk is the firmness we need that remains entrenched in our memory and bring out the honorable efforts that are foundational to a high self-esteem.

Transparency
Though after a few days we were able to become mobile again as a city, we moved with an enlightened understanding of our transformation. The understanding that when needed, we could and would do whatever it took to help and we knew what we were capable of accomplishing. These are the times facades and illusions fall revealing who we are.

What are the events and times that firmness aided in building your self-esteem? I would love to hear your own experiences.