February « 2010 « Maxafication-ize Your Life

Solution is in the Problem

I want to talk about the upside of problems. We are attacked in life by inadequate resources, lack of preparation, unforeseen events, and changes out of our control. This leaves us often in uncomfortable and sometimes depressing situations.

Now before I really bring you down, I want you to know I believe there is an upside to every problem. Often the very problem itself contains the solution for our problem. The truth is many times what we call a problem is only the result or symptom of the problem.

A cold is a good example. The real problem is a virus. The suffering is displayed by the sore throat, itching eyes, coughing, and congestion. The issue lies in fighting not just the symptoms but to attack the virus. One of the ways you do this is with rest. That certainly helps to stop the virus from further attacking the body and becomes the way we make it back to health. The upside is the rest does more than just make the cold go away. It helps to make other good things happen as well. Things like resting your mind and emotions are healthy as well. The cold may bring the realization that you are out of balance. Being out of balance causes you to lose out and not be able to take full advantage of new opportunities.

Many times we are so busy scurrying about to get away from problems that we do not see the lesson we need to learn in the problem. We try to just take care of the obvious. We should look for a deeper connection.

It is important that we look for the lesson, parable, wisdom, understanding the message the problem is bringing. Many times it works in the manner of a progressive revealing. The more we seek to understand what we should get from our time in the “problem” the quicker began to be made whole from because our focus changes to the redeeming factor as opposed to fleeing. Allow me to share some examples of what I am saying.

You started from home on time to a meeting but you are now late because of traffic. So you began to get anxious. You honk your horn. You may make statements of anger to drivers who are not paying you attention, let alone actually hearing you through the sound barriers of glass, steel, and traffic noise. It is clear you can’t control the traffic, but you can control your response to the traffic by accepting that there is nothing to be done until another opportunity arrives. In the Bible there is a verse that states: “In your patience you posses your soul”. You actually take control for who you want to be and not allow outside circumstances to decide your behavior.

There is a meeting at your job. There is an issue posed in the meeting for which you have an answer. You volunteer your input and it is basically ignored. That would be okay accept a co-worker brings up the same input almost word for word and it is heralded as if it were the coming of royalty. You believe the problem is you are not being heard or acknowledged. Some would react by getting angry and deciding to not to be a future contributor. You may feel competitive. In truth your don’t have a competitor. The solution is in the problem. The solution is one of timing. Allow the issue to become almost unanswerable and just when the “towel” is being thrown in offer your input. You will be heard because there is nothing else offered at that time.

Let me end by repeating do not always avoid or try to escape problems. Many times they contain the solution you need within them for more than just the solving the problem you are facing today.

Share your problem. Let’s see if it contains a solution. Tell of a time when you figured out after you were out of the problem that the solution was always there. Are there problems with no solution?

Preparing for Lean Times

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This post is about preparing your mental and emotional health for lean times by taking full advantage of the good times.

There is a story about a young dreamer named Joseph. He was the great grandson of pretty gutsy guy named Abraham. While there is a lot that can be said of their story, there is not enough space in this post to tell it all.

Joseph was in the country of Egypt as a young man and he had a wonderful gift of being a dreamer and it was accompanied by an ability to interpret dreams. Not only did he have these gifts but he was a person of character that could be trusted under the greatest pressure and temptation.

This combination of gift and character allowed him to come to the attention of the Pharaoh (line of rulers in ancient Egypt) of that time. First because of using his gift previously to aid someone who was close to Pharaoh, secondly a habit of integrity. This caused that person to recommend him when Pharaoh had a dream that troubled him.

Pharaoh’s dream was that 7 very healthy animals were consumed by 7 malnourished animals. A second version of the dream was 7 healthy grains were consumed by 7 shriveled grains. Joseph correctly interpreted that there would be 7 prosperous years and 7 impoverished years. Now Pharaoh was no dummy. He realized Joseph was a gifted individual and asked Joseph’s advice. Joseph said why you don’t save a portion you have during the abundant years to cover you during the lean years.

Oh yeah, did I mention Pharaoh was no dummy. I bet he knew some of Joseph’s history. That is, Joseph had successfully run the operation of Pharaoh’s main man, the captain of his guard, Potiphar. That is until he ran into a sexual harassment case. But that is another story for another time. Suffice it to state that Joseph had “out of this world”, management skills. So Pharaoh placed Joseph as a ruler, second only to himself, to make sure there was plenty for the lean years. Joseph was unbelievably successful and Egypt became place of plenty during the lean years.

So taking a page out of Joseph’s manual I want to say there will always be times that are better than others. Most look to apply this wisdom to their finances. Yet what is equally important is to invest in the asset of your mind while you have the time. There will always come along a period when you do not have the time or effort to build yourself up. If you don’t build yourself during good times it can leave you anxious, depleted, embarrassed, and stressed during lean times.

So how do you prepare your mind during good times to keep you in command of your sanity and happiness during the lean times? Here are some thoughts.

Take a class to learn something that adds to you. Learn a language like Spanish, French, or Japanese. Practicing is a journey in itself!

Write an email or letter to someone you admire requesting to interview them to gain knowledge and wisdom. You will be surprised who will communicate with you when you show genuine interest. A tip: be able to share something with them you know is a common interest.

Start a workout regimen to relieve stress and promote health.
Attend a seminar. Many times your local library or chamber of commerce has many local events that are low cost or free.

Find a mentor. Someone you learn to trust to give you guidance and feedback. Someone you admire, who is where you want to be in life. Follow their advice.

Develop your dream by creating an “Experience” booklet that speaks to and crystallizes all the things you desire to do and are willing to work toward.

Take walks and think. Many times we are so in occupied we don’t just take time to think. Remember to think of things for which you are grateful.

Renew or began a friendship that energizes you and release one that weighs you down.

Practice changing a habit by focusing on the opposite of that habit. For an example if you desire to lose weight, start to spend time around people who are in the process of losing (in a healthy way) weight and learn from them. In every process there are starters, mid-pointers, and the achievers. Each one has a something to share.

Practice before you get on stage because that’s where the lights show everything

Share a comment on some ways you prepare yourself in good times for the times that are not so good.

Do You Cherish Your Relationships?

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: Image via Wikipedia

I would like to write some thoughts about cherishing relationships. As I get older (funny how these things matter as you get older) I find myself reflecting on past, present, and future relationships. I think about the bad ones, the good ones, and those that seem to have been of no consequence. I believe that for the most part people are social beings and need to be valued, given attention to, and loved. Many times the need for affirmation from someone else is so great that we will allow ourselves to be put down in exchange for receiving attention.

Some give their money for this attention, some their time, some their self-respect, and others even their bodies. We will try to get this interaction from others even when we actually pay a high price; for this feeling of closeness, well being, and appreciation.

Some of the relationships we can handle for a short time and then the interaction weighs on us. Other relationships energize us. Those two are the ones we have a choice about. When it comes to relatives sometimes the choice of whether to interact or not is actually taken away and we just have to do the best we can.

No matter what situation you find yourself in cherish the relationships and always look for what you can learn and possibly avoid at the worst. At the best find what we can duplicate and do it over and over again.

Even the relationships that are the most harmful should cause us to appreciate the ones that are just average. In some interactions we act as if there is all the time in the world to fight, injure, fume, ignore, and not forgive. Don’t spend your time in this way. Make up or at the least forgive and let it go. This helps make room for the relationship that will energize you.

In all relationships consider bringing out the best you can in another person. Can you add anything? Many times we seek to reap from a relationship we have sown into. Trust God to be faithful. When you sow without the need to be rewarded from the person you sowed into, you will find many streams of friendship that you reap from where you have not invested any, time, effort, or money.
Here are some of my ways of cherishing relationships.

Past Relationships
One of the ways I like to cherish past relationships is by replaying good times in my mind of the persons of which I interact. I remember a laugh, a joke, sometimes even a suspenseful episode. When the relationship was not good I cherish the memory of leaving that relationship and the relief I felt. It is important though to leave a relationship with integrity of knowing you tried to create the best memories you can so that we are not hostage to guilt of not trying.

Present Relationships
One way I cherish present relationships is to truly be present when I am with someone. I try to not have divided attention even to the point I deliberately say in my mind and with my eyes, “You are important to me”. I don’t base the relationship on whether the person accepts or likes me. I try to look at what is positive about them and focus there. That does not make me blind to the shortcomings; it just says I recognize I may not be the best banana in the bunch either. I end toxic relationships more quickly as I learn to recognize when someone is so hurt and drowning that without professional help they just pull everyone else down. No matter what, I make sure to pray to God for them because sometimes that is best way of cherishing the relationship.

Future Relationships
I cherish future relationships by becoming grounded, wiser, ever investing in who I am. This helps me to become a solid person for future positive relationships to be appreciated. It prepares me as well for those that don’t go so well because I am not as easily depleted. Moving forward with the attitude that I have still many interesting people to meet and when I think I have seen it all I will be surprised again. I smile and speak to all I encounter. It is always a good start.

Remember a friend is someone who knows the skeletons in the closet and still desires to be your friend.

Share with me some of the ways you cherish your relationships?

Maxafication-ize Your Life

Solution is in the Problem

Preparing for Lean Times

Do You Cherish Your Relationships?

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