credit to satanoid

These are steps I have used, taught, and seen distinct success in turning adversity into a springboard to create value. Do know that dealing with adversity is not easy, yet conquering the adversity will give you confidence, inspire others, and make you ready for the next challenge in your life.

First know that adversity is like rain and the sun. It will fall and shine on all the same. Rich, poor, black, white, old, or young, all will experience adversity at sometime in life. As a very wealthy lady I was listening to stated,

So half the fight is in realizing adversity will happen to you. What can we do? Be prepared. Before I go on let’s take a moment to define adversity. Let’s say it is bad luck, misfortune, something that comes against you, or trouble. You get the picture. Now see the ways to turn adversity to a more favorable position for you.

1. Use your imagination to project yourself into an adverse position. Make it as real as possible. This helps to reduce shock and panic when the real thing comes along. I know you may think, huh? The power of your mind is so great that you can imagine true adversity and thereby actually experience fear and anxiety.

I used to think what would happen if I lost use of my legs. I projected myself into imagining the grief, acceptance, and then deciding to do something that did not require walking; imagining that I became very good at whatever I had chosen to do. Not the same as real life, but it plants a seed of hope, an anchor that my mind can hold onto if this setback occurred.

2. Stop that runaway train. This is where you practice keeping the adversity from growing larger than it really is by keeping the adversity in perspective. You know. “I complained about having no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet”.

3. Take adversity day by day. Do not project what the next day will bring; live in the present and deal with the now moment.

4. Breathe. Often we forget that part of life is just keeping the basics going. Have you ever anticipated a painful moment or being confronted by a difficult person and found yourself holding your breath? I have too! Deliberately breathe slowly in/out and release a portion of the anxiety until you can think clearly.

5. Laugh at the adversity. This is great for conquering the fear of a paralyzing moment. If you don’t believe it works think about a time someone scared you suddenly. You naturally begin laughing as a way of releasing stress brought about by uncertainty. Laugh. It may not change the situation but it will change you.

6. Think, what would ______ do? Replace the blank with someone you admire for being resourceful, capable, and experienced in handling your adverse issue. For me, it was my grandmother and Abraham Lincoln.

7. Be still. Just decide to have the response of “no response” (as long as the adversity is not life threatening at that moment). Letting yourself be pushed to an ill timed response places you in an out of control feeling. This is where mistakes are made. Treat it like a stop sign. Stop and look both ways before crossing.

8. Make like a poker player and “bluff”. The key to the “bluff” is making sure the adversity does not know what you have in your mind. Act bold and you will become bold. You often don’t have much to lose.

9. Fight back. Do not cooperate. Say “no”. Treat the adversity as if someone called your mother out of her given name (not for use when the adversity comes from your mother). The key here is to walk away feeling good about who you are.

Try variations and combinations of these ways in turning adversity to your advantage.

Share a comment on how you handle adversity.

There is a story about a young dreamer named Joseph. He was the great grandson of pretty gutsy guy named Abraham. While there is a lot that can be said of their story, there is not enough space in this post to tell it all.

Joseph was in the country of Egypt as a young man and he had a wonderful gift of being a dreamer and it was accompanied by an ability to interpret dreams. Not only did he have these gifts but he was a person of character that could be trusted under the greatest pressure and temptation.

This combination of gift and character allowed him to come to the attention of the Pharaoh (line of rulers in ancient Egypt) of that time. First because of using his gift previously to aid someone who was close to Pharaoh, secondly a habit of integrity. This caused that person to recommend him when Pharaoh had a dream that troubled him.

Pharaoh’s dream was that 7 very healthy animals were consumed by 7 malnourished animals. A second version of the dream was 7 healthy grains were consumed by 7 shriveled grains. Joseph correctly interpreted that there would be 7 prosperous years and 7 impoverished years. Now Pharaoh was no dummy. He realized Joseph was a gifted individual and asked Joseph’s advice. Joseph said why you don’t save a portion you have during the abundant years to cover you during the lean years.

Oh yeah, did I mention Pharaoh was no dummy. I bet he knew some of Joseph’s history. That is, Joseph had successfully run the operation of Pharaoh’s main man, the captain of his guard, Potiphar. That is until he ran into a sexual harassment case. But that is another story for another time. Suffice it to state that Joseph had “out of this world”, management skills. So Pharaoh placed Joseph as a ruler, second only to himself, to make sure there was plenty for the lean years. Joseph was unbelievably successful and Egypt became place of plenty during the lean years.

So taking a page out of Joseph’s manual I want to say there will always be times that are better than others. Most look to apply this wisdom to their finances. Yet what is equally important is to invest in the asset of your mind while you have the time. There will always come along a period when you do not have the time or effort to build yourself up. If you don’t build yourself during good times it can leave you anxious, depleted, embarrassed, and stressed during lean times.

So how do you prepare your mind during good times to keep you in command of your sanity and happiness during the lean times? Here are some thoughts.

Read books. Ones that are written by someone you consider successful whose story or writing shares pearls of knowledge and wisdom to use.

Take a class to learn something that adds to you. Learn a language like Spanish, French, or Japanese. Practicing is a journey in itself!

Write an email or letter to someone you admire requesting to interview them to gain knowledge and wisdom. You will be surprised who will communicate with you when you show genuine interest. A tip: be able to share something with them you know is a common interest.

Start a workout regimen to relieve stress and promote health.
Attend a seminar. Many times your local library or chamber of commerce has many local events that are low cost or free.

Find a mentor. Someone you learn to trust to give you guidance and feedback. Someone you admire, who is where you want to be in life. Follow their advice.

Develop your dream by creating an “Experience” booklet that speaks to and crystallizes all the things you desire to do and are willing to work toward.

Take walks and think. Many times we are so in occupied we don’t just take time to think. Remember to think of things for which you are grateful.

Renew or began a friendship that energizes you and release one that weighs you down.

Practice changing a habit by focusing on the opposite of that habit. For an example if you desire to lose weight, start to spend time around people who are in the process of losing (in a healthy way) weight and learn from them. In every process there are starters, mid-pointers, and the achievers. Each one has a something to share.

Practice before you get on stage because that’s where the lights show everything

Share a comment on some ways you prepare yourself in good times for the times that are not so good.

Habitual Mechanism Response
During times in which our public and private worlds experience upheaval we find ourselves pushed and pulled in different directions. We manage and fight against some of the upheaval by having a routine. Getting up from sleep, bathing/grooming, eating a pop tart, reading the newspaper, driving to work, working, returning participating in an evening activity, children’s homework, and going to bed. Certainly not the same in all of our lives but there are probably common elements. This is one of the ways we control our reaction to events; a way to create some normalcy in our lives. Other ways include times of prayer and/or meditation. We place ourselves into hobbies or projects. These are healthy ways we build up ourselves to handle mental and emotional negative events.

Breakdown
Sometimes the event is so unexpected or traumatic that our routines and habits cannot rescue us from the shock to our life. A loss of job, death of a loved one, divorce, break up of a friendship are examples that can seem like an overwhelming giant. This can also include effects of natural disasters, acts of violence, aging, medical and mental health issues. So how do we keep going when it seems like the odds become so overwhelming?

Being for Real
First let me be very clear about what I am going to say. Often advice is suggested to be helpful, but can appear condescending, nonchalant, shallow, insensitive, and have the indication that the person offering the advice (me, in this case) leads a charmed life with no clue of what people are going through. Another way that seems detached is to try to convince the reader that nothing really happened to them and they just have to “wish” it away. The advice I am offering here works best when you have a basic structure to work with. Without that structure, more in depth help is needed because the foundation is severely missing strength. I am still stating even if that is the case, what I am about to state can still be helpful, even to foundationless.

Choice Response Mechanism
I used to believe everyone had an understanding that one of the things that they have in life is the right to make choices. I am not referring to those held against their will or any of the areas where someone like a child is subjected to parental abuse. I am saying that most of us reach an age or point where choice can be used to shape our future. In a reflection of our past or a choice can be used to travel roads that give us a different experience from our past.
Choice, as used in the writing is about building a response mechanism that can be triggered when we have an event that impacts us mentally or emotionally in a negative manner. Having a choice means that we use the power of decision to determine how we desire to respond to protect our mind while we cope with the event and what happens thereafter.
I would like to share with how I do this.

“I decide I only know what I know” – this means I do not speculate on what may, could, or did happen without the facts. This protects my mind from amplifying any fear I may feel. Amplified fear can cause you to do more harm to you and others than the event. It also may paralyze you to act when action is most needed at that time.

“I ask myself, how do I want to feel” – I believe this step is so important because it positions you to not be driven into an events negativity but allows you the chance to pause and consider options. Some would ask me does this make you devoid of emotions. My answer is no. It just allows me to choose the emotions I will empower at that time.

“I choose to _______ ” – this is where I have considered options and whether I allow fear, happiness, peace, insanity, joy, seriousness, or quiet. It is a choice I made and therefore I have set my direction as opposed to being driven in a direction. The fact that you did not give up mental control is healthy in and of itself.

Final Words
Choice works best when exercised in mini events in preparation for unexpected ones. Don’t wait until you encounter change or suffer loss. Empathize with others and think about how you would feel and how you might face the same event. This practice will be invaluable to using the steps above.

How do you cope with unexpected change? Share a comment on this article.

Let me be the first to state we should never deny a negative fact when it occurs. Yet we need to find ways to protect ourselves from magnifying the negative impact. The greatest asset we have is our ability to think and decide how we will react or respond to an outside influence.

This is where preparation beforehand comes to our rescue. We have to make a conscience thought that we will not allow anything decide what we think, say or do. We must consciously make the decision after pausing in short or researching in length to make our own choice.

There are mental exercises we can do to help us prepare. In the form of what we speak to ourselves to guide our thoughts. These are best to use with little things in life first as practice.

First, make sure to not make assumptions when you do not have facts. You can tell yourself, “I don’t know, what I don’t know. Until I know, I will not assume”. Let me give an example. With job environment, there can be great anxiety at the thought of losing a position. While rumors may abound refuse to decide a conclusion that you don’t know to be factual. Do not allow fear to guide your actions. Decide not to waste time with an assumption. Pause and allow the first impulse to go unspoken.

Secondly, ask yourself, “What is here that I can control?” Understand at that time you can control what you choose to think. You have the right to have no specific thought. Using the same example of a possible job loss you can decide to begin planning (if you have not already) alternatives. There is no profit, advantage, or hope in attempting to control what you cannot. Use prayer for those things. Focus on the next deliberate actions you must take. That is the ability to think of next steps. To work toward an alternative.

Thirdly, make a choice to ask yourself, “What do I want to do with what is happening?” You can always choose to be still until you can move in a direction that is your choice. This where you take inventory of what is readily available and build on top of what you have. This where the initial shock has passed and you choose to be occupied with what can be, as opposed to what cannot. For example inventory your strengths, your network, and remember things for which you are grateful.

The whole idea is that you are calming yourself so that you are not overwhelmed and you are not by default giving away your power of choice but reserving the right to keep your mental health.
Don’t wait for the “Big One”, as Fred Sanford (Red Foxx) used to say.

Practice now to be ready for tomorrow!

So I told her that one of the thoughts I came to understand is, “Age gives opportunity for maturity, but age alone will not ensure it”. Time continues in spite of aging. It is the little steps we make to focus daily on a goal, vision, or dream that allows maturity to match age. Try this suggestion on something simple that you have not accomplished.

Here are a few steps:
1) write down what you want in 10 words or less
2) look at it and think on it every day for 10 days
3) write beside it 5 steps that lead you to your goal
4) breakdown each step until it is something you can complete in a 15 min. period by doing it everyday
5) place the steps on a calendar and mark off each day you do it
6) look back after 10 days on how far you have come
7) do it over again until you reach your goal

You will begin to notice that obstacles to your goal will begin to change. Don’t be too hard or soft on yourself. Find your rhythm. You will be 10 days older and 10 steps along your road to maturity!