Choice in Crisis

Response to events that take place with mental and emotional impacts is the opportunity to use one of the greatest leverages we have to protect ourselves. That leverage is called choice.

Habitual Mechanism Response
During times in which our public and private worlds experience upheaval we find ourselves pushed and pulled in different directions. We manage and fight against some of the upheaval by having a routine. Getting up from sleep, bathing/grooming, eating a pop tart, reading the newspaper, driving to work, working, returning participating in an evening activity, children’s homework, and going to bed. Certainly not the same in all of our lives but there are probably common elements. This is one of the ways we control our reaction to events; a way to create some normalcy in our lives. Other ways include times of prayer and/or meditation. We place ourselves into hobbies or projects. These are healthy ways we build up ourselves to handle mental and emotional negative events.

Breakdown
Sometimes the event is so unexpected or traumatic that our routines and habits cannot rescue us from the shock to our life. A loss of job, death of a loved one, divorce, break up of a friendship are examples that can seem like an overwhelming giant. This can also include effects of natural disasters, acts of violence, aging, medical and mental health issues. So how do we keep going when it seems like the odds become so overwhelming?

Being for Real
First let me be very clear about what I am going to say. Often advice is suggested to be helpful, but can appear condescending, nonchalant, shallow, insensitive, and have the indication that the person offering the advice (me, in this case) leads a charmed life with no clue of what people are going through. Another way that seems detached is to try to convince the reader that nothing really happened to them and they just have to “wish” it away. The advice I am offering here works best when you have a basic structure to work with. Without that structure, more in depth help is needed because the foundation is severely missing strength. I am still stating even if that is the case, what I am about to state can still be helpful, even to foundationless.

Choice Response Mechanism
I used to believe everyone had an understanding that one of the things that they have in life is the right to make choices. I am not referring to those held against their will or any of the areas where someone like a child is subjected to parental abuse. I am saying that most of us reach an age or point where choice can be used to shape our future. In a reflection of our past or a choice can be used to travel roads that give us a different experience from our past.
Choice, as used in the writing is about building a response mechanism that can be triggered when we have an event that impacts us mentally or emotionally in a negative manner. Having a choice means that we use the power of decision to determine how we desire to respond to protect our mind while we cope with the event and what happens thereafter.
I would like to share with how I do this.

“I decide I only know what I know” – this means I do not speculate on what may, could, or did happen without the facts. This protects my mind from amplifying any fear I may feel. Amplified fear can cause you to do more harm to you and others than the event. It also may paralyze you to act when action is most needed at that time.

“I ask myself, how do I want to feel” – I believe this step is so important because it positions you to not be driven into an events negativity but allows you the chance to pause and consider options. Some would ask me does this make you devoid of emotions. My answer is no. It just allows me to choose the emotions I will empower at that time.

“I choose to _______ ” – this is where I have considered options and whether I allow fear, happiness, peace, insanity, joy, seriousness, or quiet. It is a choice I made and therefore I have set my direction as opposed to being driven in a direction. The fact that you did not give up mental control is healthy in and of itself.

Final Words
Choice works best when exercised in mini events in preparation for unexpected ones. Don’t wait until you encounter change or suffer loss. Empathize with others and think about how you would feel and how you might face the same event. This practice will be invaluable to using the steps above.

How do you cope with unexpected change? Share a comment on this article.

 Hi! My name is Vonzel Sawyer. I am a husband, father, and grandfather. I started blogging to share from my experience, knowledge, wisdom, instruction, and understanding to help persons maxamize and magnify the positive in their life. That is why I used the terms "maximum" and "magnification" and combined them into a single word "maxafication". Just like something can be magnetized or winterized. I want to impact people to live largely and fully each day!