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Do You Cherish Your Relationships?

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I would like to write some thoughts about cherishing relationships. As I get older (funny how these things matter as you get older) I find myself reflecting on past, present, and future relationships. I think about the bad ones, the good ones, and those that seem to have been of no consequence. I believe that for the most part people are social beings and need to be valued, given attention to, and loved. Many times the need for affirmation from someone else is so great that we will allow ourselves to be put down in exchange for receiving attention.

Some give their money for this attention, some their time, some their self-respect, and others even their bodies. We will try to get this interaction from others even when we actually pay a high price; for this feeling of closeness, well being, and appreciation.


    This is why when we receive these things in a mutually selfless exchange we must treat those relationships as the gems they are; full of value, energy, strength, enduring, and special

.

Some of the relationships we can handle for a short time and then the interaction weighs on us. Other relationships energize us. Those two are the ones we have a choice about. When it comes to relatives sometimes the choice of whether to interact or not is actually taken away and we just have to do the best we can.

No matter what situation you find yourself in cherish the relationships and always look for what you can learn and possibly avoid at the worst. At the best find what we can duplicate and do it over and over again.

Even the relationships that are the most harmful should cause us to appreciate the ones that are just average. In some interactions we act as if there is all the time in the world to fight, injure, fume, ignore, and not forgive. Don’t spend your time in this way. Make up or at the least forgive and let it go. This helps make room for the relationship that will energize you.

In all relationships consider bringing out the best you can in another person. Can you add anything? Many times we seek to reap from a relationship we have sown into. Trust God to be faithful. When you sow without the need to be rewarded from the person you sowed into, you will find many streams of friendship that you reap from where you have not invested any, time, effort, or money.
Here are some of my ways of cherishing relationships.

Past Relationships
One of the ways I like to cherish past relationships is by replaying good times in my mind of the persons of which I interact. I remember a laugh, a joke, sometimes even a suspenseful episode. When the relationship was not good I cherish the memory of leaving that relationship and the relief I felt. It is important though to leave a relationship with integrity of knowing you tried to create the best memories you can so that we are not hostage to guilt of not trying.

Present Relationships
One way I cherish present relationships is to truly be present when I am with someone. I try to not have divided attention even to the point I deliberately say in my mind and with my eyes, “You are important to me”. I don’t base the relationship on whether the person accepts or likes me. I try to look at what is positive about them and focus there. That does not make me blind to the shortcomings; it just says I recognize I may not be the best banana in the bunch either. I end toxic relationships more quickly as I learn to recognize when someone is so hurt and drowning that without professional help they just pull everyone else down. No matter what, I make sure to pray to God for them because sometimes that is best way of cherishing the relationship.

Future Relationships
I cherish future relationships by becoming grounded, wiser, ever investing in who I am. This helps me to become a solid person for future positive relationships to be appreciated. It prepares me as well for those that don’t go so well because I am not as easily depleted. Moving forward with the attitude that I have still many interesting people to meet and when I think I have seen it all I will be surprised again. I smile and speak to all I encounter. It is always a good start.

Remember a friend is someone who knows the skeletons in the closet and still desires to be your friend.

Share with me some of the ways you cherish your relationships?

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 Hi! My name is Vonzel Sawyer. I am a husband, father, and grandfather. I started blogging to share from my experience, knowledge, wisdom, instruction, and understanding to help persons maxamize and magnify the positive in their life. That is why I used the terms "maximum" and "magnification" and combined them into a single word "maxafication". Just like something can be magnetized or winterized. I want to impact people to live largely and fully each day!

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February 12th, 2010 |Category:Relationships | 67 comments

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