Vow is a word that is normally associated with a wedding where two persons make a lifelong commitment to one another. This post is not about weddings or commitments made to others. This post is about remembering the vow or commitment you made to you.

 On one end of the spectrum life is characterized as carrying humankind along as if adrift in an ocean. There are waves that bring along events that decide direction without input from the one being carried. On the other end of the spectrum direction seems to be determined solely by an individual’s specific thoughts and actions. In truth life is a complex combination of both.

 During this time of living have you remembered your vow to yourself? These are the things dreamed about earlier in life that are forgotten or being recalled for the first time in a long time. These are the things you made a promise to yourself about.

Vows are remembered due to imprints of the things observed, experienced, or imagined.  The source of vows may be positive or negative.  Vows can be stated in a period of stress from punishment or pleasure; possibly based on fact or fiction, but what vows have in common is passion.

When passion is lost it is time to remember what you stated to yourself about what you would do, not do, what you would say, not say, where to go and not go.  As you recieve multiple inputs through your senses, there are thousands of conscious and unconscious thoughts, too many to give recognition to all of them. The way to single out these thoughts is by focused passion reinforcing thoughts with feelings. This focus is reflective of what was important at the time a vow was made.

It is okay to take advantage of opportunities that may not be in line with your vow. The question is, did you instinctively move into a life that truly is a fulfillment of your vow or have you compromised your word?

The vow is most beneficial when you keep your word to yourself. It strengthens you. In turn it can be a weakness that preys upon the conscience as well. It becomes a crack in the self image widening into a breech causing anxiety, discontent, and possibly depression. Though others may be unaware, you feel the breech. You also feel the wholeness that comes from keep your word to yourself. 

By remembering your vow youthful desire and passion is given a new breath and vigor is renewed. It becomes the means of being made whole and fulfilling your purpose.

This is a reminder to all who feel life is empty, lost and without passion. Fire up your passion by remembering and fulfilling your vow.

Remember, speak, write your vow, and take steps to live it!

Share your vows you remember in comment. 

Photo tribute to Bo Gordy-Stith

It is hot outside! This is not just meant actually, but figuratively as well.  Summer is a time when tempers tend to flare resulting in physical, emotional, and mental stress. This stress can end or damage long term relationships and sabotage others before two persons can become acquainted.  

When conversations and other interactions between two people become heated, we have to find a way of cooling off.; just like we cool off at the pool in the summer heat. The idea is to stay as cool as possible in both situations.

A great way to cool off is stay hydrated in the first place. The essence of hydration in relationships is to make sure communication is often and positive. When you find yourself getting irritated began to make sure you are seeking to understand the other person before you seek to be understood.

Another way to cool off is by controlling your surroundings. Many times changing the location where your interaction takes place can keep things in a cooled down atmosphere. Try to interact at a location where no one has an advantage over the other.

Cooling down involves becoming quiet to extinguish the flames of anger. A variation of being quiet that cools things down is by lowering your voice so that it is not intimidating, menacing, or negative. Keeping your the voice light, cheery and positive goes a long way to keeping the heat from being damaging to your relationship.

So the question becomes what do you do when the anger has erupted and you are in midst of a conflagration?  It is at this time that you must recognize you are in an emergency. This will call for a great level of understanding emotions.  At this state of high agitation the flames are fueled by emotions. The communication may be causing each person to feel they are personally being attacked. 

The greatest person you can control in an emergency is only yourself. Do not try to control the other person.

Emotional energy is like not like a light switch. Once ignited, you cannot just “turn it off”. 

As you calm down you must allow the other party to burn out.  As you show regret, understanding of what the other person is feeling, and that you are willing to let them vent, you began to remove the fuel you were providing to the heat.

Keep your cool and strengthen your relationships.

Now it is your turn. Share with me ways you keep your relationships peaceful?

Photo tribute to Anita Ritenour

A life line is needed to hold onto when life feels like it is slowly slipping away. Moments when losing your mind is surreal. No one seems to have an answer. Those who were close are now far away.

This is a time when many check out and allow life to just sway them in whatever direction it takes. These do not set plans, cease pursuing goals, and just opt out of making decisions about life because the pain is intense and brings torment and suffering. This brings about fear.

Fear becomes paralyzing by hindering clear and coherent thinking. Even fear though, will shrink when facing a person of determination.

Some gain favor and attention by attractiveness of their physical looks. Others use their intellect to prove how much they know and are celebrated because of it. Money is another leverage of choice to impress others and buy credibility. Talent places people in a status to be admired by others leading to a level of success. While all four of these things can be powerful in their own right they each have a weakness. Physical looks and strength can diminish. Intellect can ring empty when devoid of common sense. Money’s influence continues as long it does not run out. It can be stolen, lost, or devalued. Talent can take you many places that only good character can keep you.

Nothing is as timeless, effective, gutsy, and pure genius as having a tenacious consistency of never giving up. The determination to not give up can be the joker card in the deck. No one can stop the momentum that is built by never giving up once a commitment is made.

When there is nothing else, never giving up speaks of faith. Faith is the belief to continue forward when the odds are against success. The bull dog attitude of not giving up becomes the equalizer when nothing else seems to go right. Faith will allow you to see things that others cannot, becoming the process of transformation by which new heroes arise.

Success is what you become through the process of not giving up that solidifies you mentally and emotionally. Variables in life bend to one who does not give up because that person is leading as opposed to going along with the crowd. Never giving up causes a person to learn who they are, accept it, and focus continuing with what they do have versus what is missing.

This message is for those who have a dream that will not let you rest, to those who find themselves daydreaming of a specific desire, or those who will not be satisfied with less than what is known can be. These are the heroes of tomorrow to which I herald, never, never, never, give up!

Share your thoughts in a comment and don’t forget to subscribe!

photo tributed to Arturo de Albornoz

Perception Power
Perception is amazing; it is an internal conviction of an external happening. Perception is shaped by what senses perceive and imagination based on what can emotionally be accepted. Perception is a two-edged sword that carries the potential to magnify confidence or make fears overwhelming.

Self Inflicted Hurts
When perception is not managed it tends to be like a weed. It grows without any effort or work. When perception portrays life as hopeless there is a tendency to create self-inflicted wounds.

Combinations of the following are happening during this time:

Frustration due to not knowing whom to blame
Finding fault with those who have been loyal
Treating friends as enemies
Acting the role of a victim
Unwillingness to seek guidance
Tendency to run away or avoid problems
Looking for sympathy at expense of others
Selfishness is the mantra of the day
Belief that everything has been tried
Anger at no one in particular

These are indications that immediate help is needed to be on solid ground again.

Break the bonds
Others are needed to help support a recovery during this time. Until then there are immediate things that can be done to initiate recovery.

The first modification has to come in changing the thought process. Refusing to accept perception as fact empowers one to begin to reshape the future.

In other words if perception is reality, then reality can be changed by adjusting perception.

A role is played out when your perception is guided by fear and anger. Realize the power to change perception creates a new role to play. The role of action begins as opposed to reaction. This places the backward slide in check and reverses the direction. Let’s be clear, the only thing that has changed is the thought process. Not finances, job, medical conditions, or relationships. Yet this change is the most important one. This is what sets up a comeback “just around the corner”. Where there was lack of vision previously and the “corner” was not even in view. Now there is a new awareness of not only the “corner” but a perception it can be turned.

Take the Corner
Though more work will be needed it is the breakthrough that starts the rally.
Begin to look through new eyes at those who have been loyal to you and communicate appreciation to them.

Do not focus on what is out of control. Start to control the greatest asset, you.
Get busy on changing daily activities lead to the goal. If one does not know, ask, until the person is found who is where the desire is to be. Then do what it takes to learn from them.

In closing remember perception maybe reality, but it is not fact. Knowing this is the beginning to a new future that is “just around the corner”.

Share your comeback stories. Celebrate your comeback!

Credit to National Guard at Flickr

Starting Out
Passion is an amazing feeling when an emotional decision is made. It is the commitment that comes with initial excitement that must be maintained. Time will bring fluctuations that feel like an emotional roller coaster. How we deal with these ups and downs will determine if we ever get to the finish line. Internal and external variables such as relationships, finances, social standing, and health will have a great impact on meeting the goal because of the affect on one’s emotions.

It is important your source of the strength is not based on emotion, passion, or excitement. The end result and how one imagines’ the moment of satisfaction must be the strength behind continuing, in spite of the changes in emotional state.

Strength in Repetition
Learn practical ways of creating emotional stability in line with accomplishing goals within a desired timetable. It is important that you become committed to repeating the steps needed to fulfill the process until your goal is reached. In fact it is the tenacious commitment to the routine steps that over time develops emotional stability.

Talent is not the differentiator among the talented. Intellect is not what sets one apart when compared with smart persons. It is those whose character has been forged by consistency in spite of strained relationships, financial hardships, and disappointments. This is the true success that will keep a person on top.

Reflection
Let me end with a story. There was a man, named Nate, who God spoke to. God told Nate to go into a valley in the mountains to carry out a mission. Nate desired to complete a mission for God. It was his goal to say he obeyed God. Once Nate reached the valley he found a cabin to dwell. Nate also found food and tools. God told Nate to go to a place in valley where a stream was blocked by a small boulder. God told Nate to look for a sledge hammer and begin to hit the boulder. Nate enthusiastically set about hitting the boulder. Many days went by and each one found Nate striking the boulder. After 30 days Nate became despondent and asked God when the boulder was going to break. God told Nate to continue hitting the boulder. Thereafter Nate stopped asking and committed himself to the routine. After many more days God asked Nate why he wanted the boulder to break. Nate answered so that the stream could flow. God said look at your reflection in the water. Nate did so and noticed the change in his physique. Through the daily task Nate had become a powerfully muscled man. God said that is what I wanted for you, to be strong. Now hit the boulder again. Nate did and the boulder split in two and the stream flowed.

When emotional stability is reached it changes you and only then do circumstances change around you.

Consistency molds that which is inconsistent to walk a line of stability

If you agree or disagree let me know by commenting and subscribe to get timely updates.

credit for photo to h.koppdelaney at Flckr

I have been often asked 3 questions about the sayings:

1. Are the sayings original? Yes, the sayings are original. I am committed to giving credit if I use someone else’s quotes.

2. How did you come up with the sayings? I just think about events, people, places and thoughts come to me.

3. I don’t understand where you are coming from. Can you break down a practical application of the sayings? Yes. I will be writing an intermittent series, among other postings, to give an understanding on interpreting these wise sayings.

Note: There are exceptions to all wise sayings. I try to deal in what is the case 95% of the time.

Why “Keys”? It is because keys unlock doors. Let’s get started!

“Complaining about others places blame outside of you instead of focusing on your responsibility and power”

This is a simple saying. When you find yourself finding fault with others check to make sure that by complaining you have not actually given them the power to decide your outcome in achieving a goal. While ascribing blame to others correctly, always bring your focus to what you can do to direct, change, or control your success. You then have the burden of responsibility and gain the inner power to continue.

“Distractions are the enemy of progression in reaching your goals”

Always ask yourself when moving toward your objectives, “Is there something that I am spending time on that does not directly or indirectly relate to moving forward toward my goal?” This activity however pleasurable may qualify as a distraction. If this is so you must consider dismissing yourself from the unproductive and place your time on forward movement activity.

“Sleep is a weapon against decisions made in haste”

Did you know that when you are tired that is the worst time to make a decision? A clouded mind does not think in reality.
I have heard some say when you are tired and can’t get more than 2 hours sleep before being at an appointment or work, just stay up. Not so, even 30 minutes of rest can bring about an alertness and coherence.
If you can’t get sleep do not make any important decisions. So take a hint from another famous saying and just “sleep on it”!

I would love to get some feedback if you are enjoying this type of post!

credit to satanoid

These are steps I have used, taught, and seen distinct success in turning adversity into a springboard to create value. Do know that dealing with adversity is not easy, yet conquering the adversity will give you confidence, inspire others, and make you ready for the next challenge in your life.

First know that adversity is like rain and the sun. It will fall and shine on all the same. Rich, poor, black, white, old, or young, all will experience adversity at sometime in life. As a very wealthy lady I was listening to stated,

So half the fight is in realizing adversity will happen to you. What can we do? Be prepared. Before I go on let’s take a moment to define adversity. Let’s say it is bad luck, misfortune, something that comes against you, or trouble. You get the picture. Now see the ways to turn adversity to a more favorable position for you.

1. Use your imagination to project yourself into an adverse position. Make it as real as possible. This helps to reduce shock and panic when the real thing comes along. I know you may think, huh? The power of your mind is so great that you can imagine true adversity and thereby actually experience fear and anxiety.

I used to think what would happen if I lost use of my legs. I projected myself into imagining the grief, acceptance, and then deciding to do something that did not require walking; imagining that I became very good at whatever I had chosen to do. Not the same as real life, but it plants a seed of hope, an anchor that my mind can hold onto if this setback occurred.

2. Stop that runaway train. This is where you practice keeping the adversity from growing larger than it really is by keeping the adversity in perspective. You know. “I complained about having no shoes, until I saw a man with no feet”.

3. Take adversity day by day. Do not project what the next day will bring; live in the present and deal with the now moment.

4. Breathe. Often we forget that part of life is just keeping the basics going. Have you ever anticipated a painful moment or being confronted by a difficult person and found yourself holding your breath? I have too! Deliberately breathe slowly in/out and release a portion of the anxiety until you can think clearly.

5. Laugh at the adversity. This is great for conquering the fear of a paralyzing moment. If you don’t believe it works think about a time someone scared you suddenly. You naturally begin laughing as a way of releasing stress brought about by uncertainty. Laugh. It may not change the situation but it will change you.

6. Think, what would ______ do? Replace the blank with someone you admire for being resourceful, capable, and experienced in handling your adverse issue. For me, it was my grandmother and Abraham Lincoln.

7. Be still. Just decide to have the response of “no response” (as long as the adversity is not life threatening at that moment). Letting yourself be pushed to an ill timed response places you in an out of control feeling. This is where mistakes are made. Treat it like a stop sign. Stop and look both ways before crossing.

8. Make like a poker player and “bluff”. The key to the “bluff” is making sure the adversity does not know what you have in your mind. Act bold and you will become bold. You often don’t have much to lose.

9. Fight back. Do not cooperate. Say “no”. Treat the adversity as if someone called your mother out of her given name (not for use when the adversity comes from your mother). The key here is to walk away feeling good about who you are.

Try variations and combinations of these ways in turning adversity to your advantage.

Share a comment on how you handle adversity.

Crying Soldier credit to Brandon Glass and Unkown Artist

We have heard the phrase, “Stop being so emotional”. This could mean you are overboard in your reaction or in most cases it means your expression of emotion makes me or someone else uncomfortable. Attempting to cut off emotions causes a person to be wound to tight.

Remember the 1850’s up to 1960’s where women wore layers upon layers of under garments? There was a piece of clothing called a corset (men had their version as well). It was used to contract the stomach up to chest area. By use of a piece of cloth with strings attached. The cloth was placed in the front and strings tied in the back. The draw strings were pulled tightly as possible. It was made to control and constrict the shape of the person. The corset was responsible for many a “fainting spell” because it squeezed the life out of you. Without expression of emotion the same thing happens to a person.

While I do appreciate calmness when it best serves the situation, it is emotions that give the expression that allows emphasis on events, people, and places. Emotions we express are a part of the communication to gauge the level of importance of a matter. An example of this is a cry for help that one is in danger. Another communication is the tone that equates to a purr of pleasure between two people.

Emotions help to maintain health during stressful times. Crying is an example where emotions allow a release of tension. Emotions allow us to lift another person or keep their feet on the ground. Emotions expressed are the spice that accents our communicative personality.

Emotions are responsible for the passion in the arts. Emotions fired the flame of civil rights marches of the 50’s and 60’s. Games are won and loss based on emotions because they are transferable when expressed to other teammates. Without emotions how do I express danger, happiness, anger, or even affection? Being “caught up” in emotion has had its downsides as well. Yet emotions are responsible for a POW being able to make it through a torturous time because of love for family and country.

It is when your emotions and expressions of thoughts, internal feelings, and convictions are unified that we see miracles take place. Faith takes place at this point and something comes alive in us. Emotions are many times the bridge linking together logic when the impossible needs to be crossed.

Let me know if this posting was helpful by sharing your comments.

Credit goes to marie-ll

Now don’t get me wrong. Each success story requires a time the person had a personal, business or both obstacles they had to overcome. Yet there are always contributions from others that are crucial to success.

Here are 7 ways to enhance your network that I have found to be enormously rewarding.

The reasons are varied. If you are in business you need customers, a church needs members, PTA’s need parents, looking for that special person to marry, moving to a new area leaves a friendship hole to fill, and maybe you just need the input of a mentor. No matter which of these or other reasons you may have, we all need to know it is all about expanding our networks.

Go where people are! This refers to physical and virtual locations. You cannot expand your network or “meet other people” by just watching television or even surfing the net.

Find relatives you don’t know. In most families there is a network that has broken down. One of the joys I have is searching for relatives I did not know existed. How? By talking with the relatives I know. You will many times find a friend and maybe a cousin for life!

Keep a “Person” card on you! Businesses are not the only ones that advertise. You can have a personal card that represents, guess who? You. It contains information you want to give out and it makes you memorable, and more so when you put your picture on it. Oh yeah! Do not forget to give it out.

Start by saying Hi and smiling. If you are timid to meeting others practice by just saying a “Hi” and smiling. Get used to others smiling back and saying “Hi” as well. It will make you more comfortable. Engaging and interacting with others gets easier with time.

Meet people as you live life. Anywhere you are in line or having to wait is an opportunity to meet others. You can meet people at the grocery store, post office, schools, restaurants, etc. When you have the “Hi” and smile down pat ask the person where they are from. When someone answers you, most times they will ask where you are from and a conversation begins.

Keep in touch with others. It is okay to call, email, Facebook, or tweet those you know. Just check to see how they are doing, but do not wear out your welcome. Many times you both will have something to share with the other that is of interest.

Introduce your networks to each other. Share your acquaintances and friends with each other. Sometimes that is the value you will bring to the relationship. Believe me you will be appreciated. Do not be selfish, share.

I would love to hear your comments on these and other ways of enhancing your networks.

Credit to rAmmoRRison's

Problem
While you can’t eliminate the negative experiences, your attention can focus on neutralizing their affect on your future. Even with the positive energy of desires, passion, and determination to succeed in goals and dreams the negative memories often act as time bombs. They seem set to go off just when we are about to reach an important milestone in our life.

Hint to an Answer
Here is an example revealing a clue on how to equalize the playing field. If I drink a shot glass of strychnine it would turn me into a candidate for ghost status. Yet, if I add a 55 gallon barrel of water to the strychnine the only thing it has the power to do is clean my teeth and cause a tingle. This is the same way to minimize the impact of negative memories.

We cannot change genetics like ethnicity, gender, or the past. We each have the ability to create new experiences, thoughts and facts. Our equivalent to adding the 55 gallons of water is to begin to make new memories that become the facts of the future. What does that look like?

Solution
First we have to seed our mind with new knowledge. We have the ability to program ourselves to expect a different outcome. Literally a “brain washing” needs to take place. This is where we change our thinking by what we begin to feed ourselves. A life of learning anew begins.

We allow ourselves to be influenced by the successful thinking. By daily reading books, associating with successful people, changing what we say to ourselves, and finding a mentor/coach. These become tools to change our behaviors to create new habits. This creates new facts in your life.

As these activities become daily practices changes begin to take place in our thinking. Here are a few things we can add to our activities:

1. Organize our daily activity using a calendar
2. Create a list of task as a reminder
3. Track the most important task
4. Value relationships by investing attention
5. Forgive people who offended you
6. Separate yourself from toxic persons
7. Seek to control only yourself
8. Do selfless acts of charity

By engaging ourselves in this manner we began a flood of new facts and experiences that neutralize our negative memories that sets you up to live a life of new facts that place us on a success track.

Do you feel where I am coming from? If so, leave a comment let me know what you think.