When Your Wife Becomes Over Weight part 3

This is the final post of a 3 part series. There is a lot more I can say about this subject and I will in later postings. For now this will be it. I will at the end add some resources to speak further on the subject. While I don’t agree with everything said in them there are some good thoughts.

So over several years I watched my wife jump through all types of hoops to get her weight down. I saw her start diets and stop. I watched her deal with the issues related to her health. Her health was slowly deteriorating, making a comeback even more difficult. I watched her craftily use clothing to accent her best attributes. She had to deal with where she could sit and not sit on a plane. Shopping amongst a small selection, trying to make magic happen with what plus size stores have to offer; as compared to shopping at regular department stores with hundreds of selections. Weight as well can affect intimacy. What I am saying here is many things are taken for granted but are everyday obstacles to those in the battle of weight control.

There is a myth about weight loss. It goes like this. If she (or he) really wanted to lose weight they would do it and stick to it. That is just someone who is ignorant about the complexities of why people do what they do. Cigarettes, alcohol, over-the-counter drugs, illegal drugs, sex and many other things are loaded with reasons why these habits are not easy to break. All of them call for finding the real reason and then work for an internal change that grows into a lifestyle. A lot of times this will mean professional help. Some may need different types of tools than others to make it work.

I accompanied my wife to nutritionist, doctors, psychologist, and special clinics. Don’t take these persons for granted. They will often become your wife’s backup team to reinforce an atmosphere of change. The key is that I was willing to go through it with her. When she cried I held her. When she was angry I would not argue back because I realized the real argument was taking place internally. When it seemed like her actions were totally contradicting to what she said her desire was I accepted it. I became the person she could talk to about it. Though I will tell you she was very secretive and I had to make sure that I did not push her when she did not want to share.

Your experience may not be the same as mine. I am just trying to say that there is a way to get through this without going crazy and driving a wedge in your marriage. Be careful not to judge so quickly. You will many times find yourself in a similar situation where someone must work with you. Oh yes, when none of the things I stated before worked for me, I did the thing you do whenever you are in a battle for your life and don’t know what to do. I prayed. Why? Because that is what you do when you run out of answers and need a miracle intervention.

The outcome of the years is that my wife’s lifestyle did change. She won her battle. I have a healthier and happier wife. We did not lose our relationship and she knows I am her number 1 fan. She is able to do so many things and is more confident. I would venture to say it was the journey that made her this way and the result was weight loss. But what if she did not find her way to a solution? I would have continued to love her anyway and continue believing in her. If I exhausted all the positive things I know. Then I would again, pray.

By the way you may have noticed. Much of this is good for handling other changes in couples as well.

http://www.luvcube.com/live-love/spouse-gaining-weight.htm Tips on how to help your partner if she or he becomes overweight/obese

http://www.mynippon.com/RomanceNews0120/story8.htm How to motivate an obese spouse or family member to lose weight?

An interesting conversation http://www.queendom.com/advices/advice.htm?advice=145

Thanks for listening.
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 Hi! My name is Vonzel Sawyer. I am a husband, father, and grandfather. I started blogging to share from my experience, knowledge, wisdom, instruction, and understanding to help persons maxamize and magnify the positive in their life. That is why I used the terms "maximum" and "magnification" and combined them into a single word "maxafication". Just like something can be magnetized or winterized. I want to impact people to live largely and fully each day!